See the flowers...

Do not let what you cannot do interfere 

with what you can do.

 ~John Wooden

When I decided to do what I could and enjoy that, it made a difference in my life, in the quality and the happiness. Yes, I still get frustrated but by concentrating on the good things and noticing them I have more happiness. 

Not being able to do things IS frustrating. It can make you angry or depressed. If you concentrate on what you lack, your failures or faults and you criticise yourself you feel worse. At this point you cannot have a good day and nothing will go right! If you only look for the negative you are going to find it. You will see every tiny unhappy thing because that is what you are focused on. It's like being in a field of wild flowers and only seeing the weeds. Do you really want to fill your life with that? 

But what if you stop and look at everything you CAN do, all the things you know and all the abilities you take for granted? Think of all your good points and successes. Not only will you appreciate yourself more, you will be inspired to learn or experience MORE things. You will look for the good things, the possibilities, the small positive things in your day that before you missed because your head was too full of the negative.

The weird thing is sometimes I get so sick I can't do anything at all really and that MAKES me appreciate what I can do, even if it is small. There are many amazing things you can do, that you know or have experienced. Inside you are skills and abilities, thoughts and humour, love and life. Don't waste it. You are amazing. You have so much to offer. 

Yes, there are weeds, but see the flowers? They are dancing in the breeze. 

Hope you see flowers today,
Jane
aka Queen Babs

What am I worth?

What value am I? 

I have had Fibromyalgia and other illnesses for over 20 years. I can no longer do the things that many 'normal' people can do in a day: work, clean the house, shop, cook dinner. On a good day I can do something small. On a bad day when I am physically and mentally exhausted I may even need help to walk to the toilet or hold a cup of tea. 

I can't tell you when I will have a good day and at what time. It's unpredictable. On a good day I can do something for an hour or two. I went from a vibrant, energetic woman to one who sometimes cannot even go to the toilet without help. That is devastating.

In our society our value is measured by our job. The better the job, the higher the value. When we meet people we ask them "What do you do?" And so what value did I have if I couldn't work? Did I have some value even though I could no longer sell a kitchen appliance or clean a house? I felt useless.

I had to change my thinking. I had to find a way to value myself. How was I going to see my life when I felt useless? What was my role now? I decided to share my creativity and be the best 'me' I could be. I would be real, honest, open and find a way.

I looked at other friends with a similar life. I imagined what my life would be like without them in it. I realised that if people like myself weren't here, we would leave a big gap. We are the friend you talk to.  We listen. We help out were we can. We have learnt empathy and compassion through pain, illness and trauma. We look at the world from another angle. Our experience is different and that may give us insight worth listening to.

So what value am I? I am a good friend, a loving daughter, sister and aunty. I support my husband's passions. I crochet for fun. I help where I can. I practise kindness and hope that someone, somewhere will smile because I cared.

Our value is not in our jobs, the cleanliness of our toilets, the cars we buy or the handbags we own. It is not even in our faces or bodies. It is the people we are inside. 

A wise friend said: You don't value yourself by what you can do. You are valuable because of who you are. Thank you Graham. Spot on.