Stop waiting. Start creating...

When I first got ill I waited to my discover mystery illness, I waited to get better and I waited to get back to my life. I put my life on 'hold'. I just existed and kept my face firmly turned back to the past, waiting to return. I had always had major health problems that I had overcome before, so why not now? 

After a diagnosis, I wasn't much wiser because so little was known, no one could give me anything but well meant suggestions and I knew no one with a chronic illness, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue or anything similar. There was no internet or groups to ask. The doctor said it was permanent though.

I didn't believe him. I still waited through another two years of trying to recover before I realised that I wasn't going to be able to return to 'normal programming'. I finally resigned from my job. I kept hoping for recovery, but I stopped waiting for it. I had to live!

It is important to differentiate between hope and not waiting. Hope means you believe that in the future things will change or improve. Waiting means you stop living the life you have now on the dream that you can return to the past. You can't return; that's why it's called the past.  

You CAN go forward. When you stop waiting and realise that today IS your life, you change your focus. You take your life off pause and starting living it. If you aren't facing the future, you aren't going anywhere. 

Start creating your life! Not waiting doesn't mean you give up hopes and dreams, just the opposite! It means taking a step forward. It means saying "Yes!" instead of  'Not yet'. A life on pause is a pretty boring thing: no sound, no picture, static. Don't wait, just watching your life pass by, it's happening now! 

Take it off pause and play! 

The Power of Listening

Listening is undervalued. 

We are so busy doing, talking, texting, emailing, working and feeling compelled to do more because so much else is clamouring for attention. Sometimes in a conversation there are two people talking AT each other. Each is just waiting for the other to finish so they can speak. You may as well speak to a brick wall.


Sharing my story allows me to connect with you. Our heart and minds meet and we see that we are not so different from each other. We have ideas, dreams and problems in common. Deep down we are the same. The important part is being real and honest. Our real thoughts are part of us, floating out with excitement, worry, concern, humour and stories. 


When someone is sharing their story with me, it's not about my opinion or thoughts unless they are asked for. That is especially true when someone tells you they are in pain or depressed or ill. They are not asking you to fix it. Your first thought might be to offer advice, but it is more likely that they are asking you to acknowledge that you have heard and understood. They feel alone. 


Many chronically ill people feel ashamed or guilty for being ill. They feel like it's their fault. Do not add to that! Our society finds it easier to blame them for their illness or problem than to face the scary fact that accidents and illnesses happen and it is out of our control. I didn't ask to be poisoned. I didn't ask to be ill, it just happened. But I still feel guilty! 


So how about we practise listening to each other without judgement, well meant advice or fear and simply acknowledge we are all human beings with problems and concerns, hopes and dreams? I want to let you know you are not alone. Together we can help each other through the hard times and celebrate the good.

I like my flaws...

When I was growing up there were so many things I didn't like about myself. 

I was short, I was overweight, I was pale, I wasn't good at sport. I felt different from other people. I saw the world differentIy. I felt like a piece of a jigsaw puzzle in the wrong box. I just wasn't the same. 

Sometimes I tried to reshape myself, but this never worked. I always returned to my own odd jigsaw shape. I had to be me, everything else felt wrong. This feeling persisted through college. Sometimes it made me very unhappy and struggled with how I thought I should be versus how I truly was. The strange and wonderful thing was that some people enjoyed who I was, regardless of how I saw my imperfect edges and flaws. 

Even though I didn't always fit the surrounding picture, I stayed in my own shape and struggled on. I came to see that the puzzle sometimes changed around me and I made the picture different and interesting. The copycat pieces were bland, less interesting. They were like the jigsaw pieces heaped on the side because they would fit anywhere in their undistinguishable sameness.

The flaws were adding to the puzzle of life around me. I liked the variations, the odd and unusual, the interesting and bright. I searched these out in others and revelled in their fascinating uniqueness. I appreciated my own 'imperfections' more until I realised they weren't flaws, they were true, vivid, essential pieces of the puzzle, the pieces that made the picture worth looking at. And now I saw the world in its infinite variation, the 'flaws' and 'imperfections' made it beautiful and amazing. 

Almost ALL the pieces felt like they didn't fit, but they all had a place. No matter how each piece saw itself, it was part of the whole picture, essential and unique. The essence  of connection was in realising it fit, even if it could not see how quite yet. 

Be a part of the jigsaw,

Jane

aka Queen Babs