Simple ways to help yourself...

When I was first diagnosed with Fibromyalgia I had been very ill for over a year and having tests the whole time. The specialist said to me, " There's no cure, nothing we can do. When you get used to a pain level, the pain will increase each time. I don't need to see you again unless you get Rheumatoid arthritis. Good bye." 


I was shell shocked. I'd been expecting something: treatment, a cure, a pill of some kind. I drove home in shock. I felt alone and adrift. I'd never heard of fibromyalgia. Neither had anyone else. I cried. I didn't know what to do! I was also learning how to cope with Depression and I must have seemed a very different person from my previous happy, busy, hard working self.


I believed I would get better and be 'normal'. I put my life on hold for 3 years while I tried to get better. I found any information I could. I tried things they suggested. I also tried every non-traditional idea too. This will fix you, this will stop the pain, this, this, this!  I learnt everything the hard way. I don't recommend that.  What I do recommend if you are ill, traumatised, going through pain or a hard time is to learn as much as you can about it and reach out other to others experiencing the same. They will understand what you are going through. They will also have ideas or advice that may help.


When I found an online group with FMS, they gave me understanding, a shared bond. When I had some counselling/psychotherapy it helped too.  The Internet allowed me to read and analyse advice, medical research and big fat lies too. There are always people out there happy to make a buck off the vulnerable. If it sounds too good...it probably is.


I'm no expert, yet I find many things help me and most people too:

1. Pace yourself. Prioritise day by day and don't over do it.
2. Create an environment and a routine for getting sleep. 
3. Get rest - even if you can't sleep 
4. Eat healthily and keep hydrated.
5. Be kind to yourself. Learn to say No. 
6. Get a hobby. Find things you love and can do and do them! 
7. Try to get outside or in the sun, see they sky and trees.
8. Talk to people you like, who like you!

I am adding one more here from my friend Marleen:

9. Do not plan too far ahead. 

You might get disappointed in case things aren't possible. If you can continue on schedule, enjoy the moment, it's a gift! She adds that if you can't do as planned, then choose the next best thing and enjoy that one to the fullest. Good advice.


Remember things change. There will be good days and not so good days. But your life is not over! It isn't the same, but it's up to you to make the best of it. 

Strength comes from within...

Some days I really miss the old me.

It's as if that person is an old friend you haven't seen in ages, but remember with great fondness. Sometimes the pain of that is overwhelming. A deep sadness takes hold in my heart and I cry, grieving for what I have lost. That is normal and human. I don't think you get over a big loss in your life, but you learn to live with it. 

Loss and pain sculpts with a rough hand. Friendship and support helps you keep going, but when you get down to the nitty gritty plain truth, you have to do it by digging down deep within yourself and finding courage. You are stronger than you know. Braver than you know. You have things within you that you will never even know are there until you need them.

I won't lie and tell you challenges are easy. They aren't. But the fight IS worth it. Do what you need to do. Keep fighting. Don't give up! Learn to care for and love yourself. You will find a beauty that will astonish you. You will grow into a new person, one that has more inside them, a deeper, richer soul with an understanding of yourself and others.  

When people say you are brave, you won't think so. You might explain, there was no choice, you just had to do it. One foot in front of the other. But that is EXACTLY why you ARE brave. You accepted the obstacles and kept going.  

Loss can make us more compassionate, thoughtful, empathetic and less likely to judge others. It can make us kind, creative and inspiring. When you overcome what you never thought you could and use that experience to be a better person, then you are the stuff heroes are made of. You are amazing and you inspire me.

Keep going,

Jane 

aka Queen Babs